knowyourneighbor

Conversation with Rabbi Irwin Kula

This past week, Elder Clayton Christensen and I met with Rabbi Irwin Kula, the president of the National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership.

There were several interesting takeaways:

1)  Rabbi Kula sought out Elder Christensen because of his disruptive innovation frameworks, and became more intrigued, not less, when he learned about Professor Christensen's spiritual beliefs and conviction.  In my Boston Globe op-ed I observed that we (members of the Mormon church) don't seem to marry our secular and spiritual lives very well.  Elder Christensen is an exception; Rabbi Kula didn't have to dig too hard to know that this business school professor gladly and eagerly invites all who will into his spiritual life.

2)  Rabbi Kula's commitment to common ground is compelling, and worth modeling. When he approached Elder Christensen, rather than saying "I am a non-congregational eighth generation rabbi and you are a committed Mormon, there is very little to discuss", he instead said:

I am a non-congregational eighth generation rabbi, and you are a committed Mormon, may I share with you some of the things about which I believe we'd have a shared sensibility?

In both our traditions there is the importance of learning from everyone, the reduced emphasis on professional clergy, the centrality of community as a context for spiritual/moral development and most significantly for service to those more vulnerable, the prominence of...practice that gives credibility to belief, the weight given to discipline and actions...all of these issues are taken seriously by both our traditions.

3)  As our discussion wound down, I found myself wondering, what if our society, and Mormons in particular, were more eager to seek out common ground.  

First, an example from pop culture.  Then another, a bit more serious, example.

I've heard anecdotally that there were many Utahns who voted against David Archuleta because he was Mormon.  Not to take away from David Cook; he is phenomenal.  But don't people usually want to vote for the hometown kid?  In this instance, what divided may have been more important than what unites... If that's the case, how did we get to the point where there is such a rift between Mormons and non-Mormons in Utah?  And what can we do to mend it? 

Then there's the question of the role that religion plays in our country.  In the St. Louis Post-Dispatch's inaugural post on its Civil Religion blog, Tim Townsend writes "Rousseau coined the term civil religion to describe the necessary basics of belief that keep a civilization together."  Does our society (and do we as Mormons specifically) focus on these basic beliefs, or the particularities that divide us?  If so, what of our nation's well-being over the long-term?

What can we learn from Elder Christensen?  From Rabbi Kula?

When was the last time you actively sought out common ground?

P.S.  After re-reading my op-ed, would you say that David Archuleta and Brooke White are meeting the criteria for representing Mormons as we would like to be represented?  Yes, I know it's American Idol, and not president of the U.S.  But there were 100 million votes tallied in the finale :) 

SLC's Millcreek Neighbors Celebrate Tolerance

Because Knowing our Neighbor can have a very different dynamic outside the Mormon corridor (e.g. St. Louis and Boston where Dana and I respectively live), we are delighted to feature the thoughts of Christine Balderas who lives inside the Mormon Corridor.

Christine was one of the organizers of Salt Lake City's 'Bridging the Divide' dialogues several years back (full bio is below). As a prelude to her guest postings, below is a reprint of an op-ed piece Christine wrote several years back for the Salt Lake Tribune.

Happily, it could have been written yesterday.

Source: Rene Mansi, iStockphoto

The Salt Lake Tribune
Date: 05/19/2001 Edition: Final Section: Daybreak Page: C3
Keywords: Between Heaven & Earth Column

Millcreek Neighbors Celebrate Tolerance
BY CHRISTINE W. BALDERAS SPECIAL TO THE TRIBUNE
As Utahns, we share many characteristics and life goals, but rather than celebrate our commonality, we often tend to focus more on what separates us.

Religious affiliation is a common excuse that seems to divide our community. Neighbors and acquaintances often use the excuse that they are either too involved with their own church activities to get to know each other or that they really have nothing in common with their neighbors, so why try.

Fear of others' ulterior motives often hampers sustained relationships in some neighborhoods.

But not in my neighborhood!

Not on my street!

I live on a religiously tolerant street. We enjoy being together -- not because we all think or believe the same, but because we all grow from each other's strengths and ideas. Whether at neighborhood ice cream socials, children's street plays, caroling parties, summer camping trips, Christmas service projects, Sunday evening gab-fests, or in times of grief or celebration, we truly care about each other.

Taboo areas, regarding religious discussion or participation, are almost nonexistent. When my Catholic neighbor's son had his first communion, almost the entire street attended the celebration, including our neighbor and local LDS ward bishop, who excused himself from sacrament meeting to attend the Mass. Lutheran, Latter-day Saint, Presbyterian, Episcopalian and Catholic all sang and rejoiced together....

...At the invitation of her Presbyterian next-door neighbor, a young LDS girl attended summer Bible classes at her church. Neighbors on the street, regardless of denomination, enjoy the Buffalo Barbecue Scouting fund-raiser sponsored by the nearby Methodist church. Supporting each other's activities is pretty routine stuff...

...An appreciation of each other's beliefs is gained by putting aside fears and forging into unknown territory. Once that territory is explored, it just isn't scary anymore.

Source: Steven Robertson, istockphoto

Likewise, our neighbors, who aren't Mormon, support LDS Church social events, baptisms, children's Primary programs, and missionary farewells and homecomings -- even contributing money and writing letters to missionaries...Our Catholic neighbor is also our street coordinator. She organizes activities, collects money for bereavement gifts and takes monthly goodies to widowers on the street.

My Episcopal neighbor contributes money regularly to our LDS ward Relief Society, after women on the street gave round-the-clock care to his wife while he was in the hospital recovering from a heart attack.

My neighbor, when hearing that a fellow Catholic Church member was thinking of leaving the state because of feelings of religious exclusion, suggested it is a two-way street.

"We have to be willing to go the extra mile, too," my neighbor said.

On one occasion when a Latter-day Saint child made an inappropriate remark about a neighbor's religion, it was shrugged off.

"You should hear the comments that are made in my church," the neighbor said. Insult forgotten and relationships sustained.

Do we disagree on issues? Yes!

Do we say or hear hurtful things? Sometimes.

Do we let it fester and destroy our Heaven on Earth relationships with our neighbors? Never!

It just isn't worth the price. It takes a great deal of effort and loving tolerance, but it is worth it. Both adults and children on our street care immensely about each other and by so doing, we have grown to appreciate and love our differences.

It is nice to come home.
-----
Christine W. Balderas lives in the Canyon Rim/East Millcreek neighborhood.

Christine is deeply involved in community building work. On the organizing committee of Salt Lake City’s “Bridging the Religious Divide” dialogues, she saw the transformation that happens when people engage with others across culture and religion. She is on the board of the Salt Lake Center for Engaging Community and it’s subcommittee, “Creating a Culture of Connection”.

Her passion is bringing people together. After stories appeared in both local papers about her street’s cohesiveness, she began working with a group of dedicated women, from varied backgrounds, in her community. The Canyon Rim Community Connection was created. The goal of this organization is to bring neighbors together in various activities, including social, service and dialogue opportunities.

An elementary school teacher, gardening business owner and seminar presenter, Christine began SHARE Parent of Utah to help families who have experienced infant death.

She lives in the foothills of Salt Lake with her husband Dan. They have four married children and eight grandchildren.

Mourning Krister Stendahl; Respect for Diversity of Faiths

In the LDS church's press release respecting the diversity of faiths, it is fitting to have included a quote from Krister Stendahl, former dean of the Harvard Divinity School, Lutheran Bishop of Stockholm, advocate for inter-faith relations, and a good friend of the Mormon church whose commentary can be seen and heard in a video clip from Between Heaven and Earth.

The press release is reprinted below:

SALT LAKE CITY 18 April 2008 A respect for the diverse beliefs and unique contributions of all the world’s faiths is one of the hallmarks of Mormonism. From the earliest days of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Joseph Smith elevated the principle of religious liberty and tolerance: “We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may” (Articles of Faith 1:11).

In that same spirit, Church President Thomas S. Monson made a plea during general conference, a semiannual worldwide meeting, for more religious understanding: “I would encourage members of the Church wherever they may be to show kindness and respect for all people everywhere. The world in which we live is filled with diversity. We can and should demonstrate respect toward those whose beliefs differ from ours.” Latter-day Saints accept all sincere believers as equals in the pursuit of faith and in the great work of serving humanity.

Emphasizing God’s love for all people, not just those of one religion, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the First Presidency, the highest governing body of the Church, declared: “We honor and respect sincere souls from all religions, no matter where or when they lived, who have loved God, even without having the fulness of the gospel. We lift our voices in gratitude for their selflessness and courage. We embrace them as brothers and sisters, children of our Heavenly Father. … He hears the prayers of the humble and sincere of every nation, tongue, and people. He grants light to those who seek and honor Him and are willing to obey His commandments.”

The late Krister Stendahl, emeritus Lutheran Bishop of Stockholm and professor emeritus of Harvard Divinity School, established three rules for religious understanding: (1) When you are trying to understand another religion, you should ask the adherents of that religion and not its enemies; (2) don't compare your best to their worst; and (3) leave room for "holy envy" by finding elements in other faiths to emulate. These principles foster relationships between religions that build trust and lay the groundwork for charitable efforts.

The spiritual and physical needs of the world require goodwill and cooperation among different faiths. Each of them makes a valuable contribution to the larger community of believers. In the words of early Church apostle Orson F. Whitney, “God is using more than one people for the accomplishment of his great and marvelous work. The Latter-day Saints cannot do it all. It is too vast, too arduous, for any one people.” Thus, members of the Church do not view fellow believers around the world as adversaries or competitors, but as partners in the many causes for good in the world. For example, the Church has joined forces with Catholic Relief Services in a “collaboration of caring” that aids victims of famine and natural disaster. Furthermore, the Church worked with Islamic Relief Worldwide and the Islamic Society of Great Salt Lake to provide immediate humanitarian assistance in December 2004 to the tsunami-hit areas of Indonesia, Thailand and Sri Lanka.

It is important to note that interfaith cooperation does not require doctrinal compromise. Though the Church asserts its ecclesiastical independence and recognizes its doctrinal differences, this does not prevent it from partnering with other faiths in charitable projects. These efforts are based on universal values. A different interpretation of the atonement of Christ, for example, need not diminish the mandate of Christ to “love thy neighbor as thyself.” Therefore, it is necessary to maintain a separation between charitable efforts and doctrinal tenets, while at the same time sharing mutual concern for those in need. People of good faith do not need to have the exact same beliefs in order to accomplish great things in the service of their fellow human beings.

What my Muslim friends teach me

From my post on the Civil Religion blog:

Many years ago, while I was a college student, I was hired by a Muslim man to teach English to his daughter. We would studay at the kitchen table. Often while I was in their home the family would gather for prayer, prompted by a chime or clock in their home. The father would apologize for interrupting our studies to answer the call to prayer.

I didn’t mind. In fact, the first time I remember feeling ashamed that I had forgotten to pray that day. I bowed my head and said my prayer in the kitchen, while they knelt in the living room.

This family exemplified the best of devoted Muslims. They exuded goodness and fairness. They were kind to me.

My family in the 90’s lived in Bangkok, Thailand. We lived near a Muslim community. Many Muslims became our friends. Quite often we heard the call to prayer. It was soothing, even calming to know people were taking time from their day to remember God. Many times I would be prompted by the call to say my prayers.

As a Christian, I try to pray often. Life and schedules can get in the way from making time for quiet contemplation and prayer. If I apply Stendahl’s rule #3, I can say that I have “holy envy” for a Muslim’s devotion to God through prayer.

When I hear Muslim call to prayer, it often serves as a reminder to me: Did I remember to pray?

I am grateful for what my Muslim friends teach me about devotion and reverence for God.

St. Louis Post-Dispatch's 'Civil Religion'

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch has just launched a new blog titled Civil Religion and my co-blogger Dana King has been invited to join the conversation.

Here's what religion reporter Tim Townsend says in his lead-in.

Conversations about faith can get heated quickly. On this blog, we hope to keep the discussion provocative, but thoughtful. With that in mind, we've recruited a dozen members of our community -- from across the spectrum of faiths, ideologies, ages, races and professions -- who are thoughtful about their own beliefs, and we asked them to share those thoughts on Civil Religion.

Townsend further explains: 

Rousseau coined the term civil religion to describe the necessary basics of belief that keep a civilization together in accord with a social contract the civilization lives by. And while we certainly intend to discuss such beliefs on this blog, we also liked the name Civil Religion because it described the tenor of the conversation we hope to have here.

It is therefore fitting that Dana's first post is titled Stendahl's Rules.

Have you thought about how you can practice civil religion in your community?

What are you doing to join the on-line conversation?

Presenting our Beliefs in the Public Arena

Alan Wolfe of the Boisi Center for Religion and American Public Life recently invited Elder Clayton M.  Christensen, Area Authority, North America, Northeast, and a prominent Harvard Business School professor, to present a seminar on Mormons in American Politics.  Margaret Woolley Busse, a member of the Public Affairs Committee for Greater Boston, attended the conference, and has kindly agreed to share her learnings about how to present what we believe to the general public.

As I listened to Elder Christensen present on the the topic of “Mormons and Public Life,” (in the wake of the Romney campaign), I found both his themes and his methodology for delivering them were great examples of effectively communicating our beliefs in a public arena.  Below are the highlights:

The importance of being able to clearly explain why Mormons consider themselves Christian while others do not.

Elder Christensen succinctly explained our beliefs about the Apostasy and the subsequent Restoration, and in a very diplomatic but also uncompromising way, explained how other Christians tied themselves to tenets of the Nicean Creed and various subsequent Reformation ideas, while we adhere to what we believe to be 1st century Christianity.  If more Mormons could articulate this narrative effectively (but not combatively), it would greatly help us as we contend with those calling us non-Christian.

The importance of articulating the difference between being truly religious vs. using the banner of religion as a means to gain power, incite hatred, and invoke violence.

He gave examples of people who declare themselves religious and have garnered power by doing so, but their actions reflect anything but (Ralph Reed of the Christian Right, who turned out had siphoned millions of dollars away as part of the Jack Abramoff scandal; Newt Gingrich, who it turned out was having an extra-marital affair at the same time he was prosecuting the Monica Lewinsky case; and the Islamic extremist who masterminded the horrific elementary school hostage situation in Chechnya a few years ago, and who, as it turned out, didn't know much about Islam at all).

Very often academics, the media, and general conversationalists, refer to "religious people" to include both of the aforementioned types.  Elder Christensen rightly defined being "Christian" as simply someone who "[has] love one to another" (John 13:35) and as James says, “[visits] the fatherless and the widows in their affliction and [keeps] himself unspotted from the world" (James 1:27).  As an addendum to the first learning, these attributes are what identifies one as Christian, not specific doctrinal beliefs.

The strong argument for religion working alongside democracy

He told a story of a friend of his who was a Fulbright scholar from China that had come here to study American democracy.  He concluded that democracy here functioned so well because we have a strong religious foundation. Because Americans have, at least historically, attended churches and synagogues regularly, they were taught again and again the importance of abiding by a certain moral code.  If one did not, not only would the law punish, but more importantly, so would God.

It is thus voluntary adherence to religiously-based values that keeps society in line, rather than the enforcement of a strict penal code.  The Chinese scholar concluded that without this religious foundation that has now seeped through all elements of our culture, a state trying out democracy will fall into corruption, chaos, and quite possibly anarchy, as no citizen would feel compelled to abide by a moral code.  In short, religion should not be considered as irrelevant--and possibly harmful--to our government, as many would like to assert, but instead key to its very existence.

The real role our Church plays in public life

Our church is involved in true political activism because we focus so strongly on strengthening families, and the family is the unit of society where people learn to be good and contributing citizens.  He said when we teach in Relief Society and in Priesthood quorum how to strengthen our families, that is political activism.  When we hold Family Home Evening once a week in our homes, that is political activism.

The effectiveness of using stories that emphasize people’s commonalities

Elder Christensen used compelling stories to begin each of the points he made, which grabbed the audience's attention and built on commonalities.  For example, after he had briefly told the Joseph Smith story, Elder Christensen told a story of his own, where a fellow student at Oxford to whom he had enthusiastically given a Book of Mormon, had returned the book a day later, saying “This story at the beginning of the book—the one about this guy Joseph Smith? That should be put at the back—it is simply too unbelievable for anyone to continue reading!”

Well, this is in fact what everyone in the room was probably thinking, so it made people feel that Elder Christensen could understand their viewpoint.  He continues, “So I said to myself, well is it really so unbelievable? So I went to the Bible and found many examples of young boys being called as prophets—Samuel, David, Daniel,” etc.  In telling this story, he re-affirmed his own belief in the Joseph Smith, while being empathetic and reasonable.  A reminder that before I launch into an argument that may be off-putting for some, I should begin with a story that helps people get comfortable and builds on our commonalities.

Can you think of other people/times where people have effectively shared what they believe with those that believe differently?

If you haven't had a chance to read Alan Wolfe's article Mormons and Money, I would encourage you to do so.  It is quite good.  Note, however, it does require a payment.

Related articles/posts:
Richard Bushman's Pew Center Forum speech Mormonism and Politics:  Are they compatible?
President Thomas S. Monson -- working with others
President Gordon B. Hinckley -- Friend of the media
Public Affairs project:  Mormonism 101
Leaven in the lump

 

Offering our Hands

Today in Church I heard a profound statement by Brother Bob Hohman who has participated in our church’s efforts to help victims of the flooding in the St. Louis area of Fenton and Valley Park, both cities in my stake. Read more about the story here: Missionaries Help Protect Flooded Communities.

Brother Hohman said, in regards to sharing the gospel, “we must use our hearts, but we must also use our hands.”

This brother, with tears, then recounted his experience of the last week working beside our missionaries in yellow “Mormon Helping Hands” T -shirts. Because of the conspicuous yellow shirts, Brother Hohman was asked many times by community friends why the missionaries were there. He was able to say: “Because they care.”

Caring First -- that is how the Savior taught.

Then with more emotion this good brother said, “I wish everyday was Easter and everyday was Sunday.”

To commemorate Easter everyday, can we offer our hands "with" community friends?

In what ways have you been touched by working side by side with community friends?

How does this help you enjoy the fellowship of the community?

Learn more about the Mormon Helping Hands program by clicking here: Mormon Helping Hands

Caring First

I have been in training to sell furniture. I work for a company that believes building rapport should come before all else. It is taboo in our store to start the conversation asking, “What brings you in the store?” or “what are you looking for?” Rather we are to get to know our customers, ask them about their interests and build common ground.

Our trainer wrote on the board:

“People don’t care what you know, until they know you care.”

Wow, what gospel truth spoken in a very secular setting. It reminded me of how the Savior taught by ministering to people. He always showed genuine caring before he preached.

People wanted to know what the Savior knew, because they knew He cared.

Consider something I read by Renee Olson on blacklds.org. She shares an example of how caring can make the difference.

Can you relate an experience where real caring helped build common ground and friendship?

Getting involved in local government

In rifling through the myriad articles on Romney's campaign, I found this article Mormons & Politics:  Romney inspires LDS members to get involved in government to be among my favorites.

On March 31, 1978, President Kimball spoke to a group of Regional Representatives on political and governmental matters, saying "We urge our members to do their civic duty and to assume their responsibilities as citizens in seeking solutions to the problems which beset our cities and communities."

That was nearly 30 years ago.

I have wanted to become more involved, but it was never quite a priority.

One of the upshots of Romney's campaign (realizing that we weren't quite as well-liked as we thought we were) has been for members of our church to become more involved in our communities.

If we initially become involved "to clarify who we are and what we believe", as this article states, so be it.

Because, in time, whether we become a precinct officer, run for the school board, or participate in some other fashion, I believe we will not only have clarified who we are, we will have also made a difference.  Perhaps most importantly, we will find that we belong in a way that we hadn't thought possible.

Related posts:
President Thomas S. Monson -- on working with others
Tabernacle on Trial
Boston Globe Op-Ed:  Romney, Mormons and Me
What we can learn from Ann Romney

An "Opening the Door" Tradition

I suspect that anyone reading the article The Mormon Open-Door Tradition of Hosting Visitors will feel a surge of pride. Having attended the Olympics with my family in 2002, President Hinckley's conference address in which he said the church had joined together in a great expression of hospitality rang true.

So here's my question.

If it's a given that we are hospitable and generous to all that come within our midst, why is it that there are still so many that consider us to be clannish and closed?

As church members we are adept at welcoming dignitaries (whether heads of state or local planning boards) who seek us out.  We have been doing this well for over a hundred years, as the article points out.

But how do we do with people that don't seek us out?  My sense is that if we're not sought out, we don't seek, missionary work being the exception.  Remember the quiz -- of your last five social interactions, how many were with someone with whom the common ground is something other than religion?

With so many of us bruised by the negative PR in recent months, it is rather tempting to circle the wagons.  But what if we reframe what has happened saying -- we know we are good at hosting those who seek us out, now let's get good at seeking others out!

Why not look at the past year as a $100 million dollar boon, an expenditure that has brought the church out of obscurity so that the 'Lord can bless all the kindred of the earth' and ask ourselves what can we do to further lengthen this stride? 

Why not take our cue from Ammon, 'desiring to dwell amongst others and be their servant'?

In other words, why not add to our open-door tradition, an 'opening the door' tradition, one in which we pro-actively invite others into our home and hearts?

Thoughts?   

Related posts:

President Thomas S. Monson -- On Working with Others

Boston Globe Op-Ed:  Romney, Mormons and Me

Tabernacle on trial

What we can learn from Ann Romney

Do we need the community?