knowyourneighbor

Boston Globe's Paulson Reflects on Religion

For those of you that haven't seen Pulitzer-prize winning Paulson's year-end review of religion, there are two things of note:

1)  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, was identified properly, and separately.  It's been a tough year for Mormons, but thanks to the press, the media is now more likely to get our name right.  I would encourage you to drop Mr. Paulson a line at [email protected] to say thank-you.

2)  More importantly, in scanning the list of topics that Paulson plans to cover in 2009, you'll note that nearly every religion is facing monumental challenges, from the Catholic Church's struggle to bring all its parishioners into the tent, to the mainline Protestants' disagreements about homosexuality, to the Jewish community's betrayal by one of their own, Bernard Madoff.  It is not always going to be the case that our religious brethren and sisters want to work with us, but sometimes they will.  When we recognize they face tremendous difficulties just like we do, we may also be more willing to reach out.

There is so much more that binds us than separates us.

May I again share with you the words of Richard Bushman from his book On the Road with Joseph Smith:  An Author's Diary?  I don't know that any of us could have predicted that Bushman's words would be so true so quickly.

They are as follows: 

February 6, 2006 -- I wrote to Elder Holland about a rough patch ahead as animosity to religion keeps growing.  I am coming to envision a new persona for the Church as humble followers of Jesus Christ.  Instead of speaking triumphantly of the Gospel sweeping the earth, could we think of ourselves instead as the leaven in the lump, standing for righteousnesss and serving others?

I wish we had a long record of kindness and friendship to fall back on, with less stress on proselyting.  Then when the storms break around us, we would have friends to turn to.  Our covenant with God is to bless the people of the earth.  That should be our motto.

Establishing Zion does not mean sweeping vast masses of people on to our membership records but creating a people of God dedicated to blessing others.  Joseph and his early followers came forth with lots of triumphalist rhetoric, but I think we need a new voice, one of humility, friendship, and service.

Who will we make friends with in 2009?

Tough time to be a Mormon

It's been a tough few months to be a Mormon -- and I don't even live in California.

There's so much I've wanted to say.  But like a young child, I needed a brief time out.  I think I'm finally ready to 'use my words'.

It has hurt.  It has really hurt to see so many be so unkind and to observe people that I thought were friends of my beloved church, or even friends of mine, to pile on to the unkindness, often by simply saying or doing nothing. 

Even so, I've wonder aloud if the vitriol -- even the hate crimes -- would have occurred if we had done a better job of reaching across the aisle.  Or if at the very least we would have more come to our defense.

I didn't expect, nor could most Mormons have predicted when Mitt Romney entered the presidential race, that we as a people would be where we are today.

But we are here.

So here's what I hope.

I hope that we have learned something -- that because of this moment -- we will be a little kinder to others, we will find causes we care about, and people with whom we can work shoulder-to-shoulder, eventually finding our hearts knit together as one.  Quoting from Elder Eyring's 2008 General Conference talk Our hearts knit as one...

One way I have seen it done is to search for anything on which we agree. To be that peacemaker, you need to have the simple faith that as children of God, with all our differences, it is likely that in a strong position we take, there will be elements of truth. The great peacemaker, the restorer of unity, is the one who finds a way to help people see the truth they share. That truth they share is always greater and more important to them than their differences. You can help yourself and others to see that common ground if you ask for help from God and then act. He will answer your prayer to help restore peace, as He has mine.

That same principle applies as we build unity with people who are from vastly different backgrounds. The children of God have more in common than they have differences. And even the differences can be seen as an opportunity. God will help us see a difference in someone else not as a source of irritation but as a contribution. The Lord can help you see and value what another person brings which you lack. More than once the Lord has helped me see His kindness in giving me association with someone whose difference from me was just the help I needed. That has been the Lord’s way of adding something I lacked to serve Him better.

May we feel to, and find more ways to reach across the aisle -- to truly Know Our Neighbor -- in 2009.

Audrey Hepburn -- "...never throw out anyone."

Love this quote by Audrey Hepburn:

"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed, never throw out anyone."

As a missionary in Hong Kong ('84 - '85), I remember Elder Neal A. Maxwell telling the missionaries to never pass by the homeless on the street, that they are worthy of the gospel. Elder Maxwell pleaded with us not to be selective in sharing our message. It was a stunning reminder that everyone has great worth.

I am grateful for those people in my life who picked me up and revived me.

Who can you lift today?

The above painting of Audrey Hepburn is by my cousin Craig Sibley, an Evangelical Christian music artist and all around terrific human being.

Excerpts from Elder Hales' Christian Courage

With each succeeding General Conference, it seems the prophet and apostles are increasingly focused on how we might build bridges and discover common ground.

I have been especially saddened by the vitriolic comments on-line, not by our detractors, but from our adherents -- active, faithful members of our church.

It was therefore encouraging to hear Elder Hales' talk Christian Courage: The Price of Discipleship.

"Experience shows that seasons of negative publicity about the Church can help accomplish the Lord’s purposes. In 1983, the First Presidency wrote to Church leaders, “Opposition may be in itself an opportunity. Among the continuing challenges faced by our missionaries is a lack of interest in religious matters and in our message. These criticisms create . . . interest in the Church. . . . This provides an opportunity [for members] to present the truth to those whose attention is thus directed toward us.”

We can take advantage of such opportunities in many ways: a kind letter to the editor, a conversation with a friend, a comment on a blog, or a reassuring word to one who has made a disparaging comment. We can answer with love those who have been influenced by misinformation and prejudice—who are “kept from the truth because they know not where to find it” (D&C 123:12). I assure you that to answer our accusers in this way is never weakness. It is Christian courage in action.

As we respond to others, each circumstance will be different. Fortunately, the Lord knows the hearts of our accusers and how we can most effectively respond to them. As true disciples seek guidance from the Spirit, they receive inspiration tailored to each encounter... 

The Savior has said, “He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me” (3 Nephi 11:29). More regrettable than the Church being accused of not being Christian is when Church members react to such accusations in an un-Christlike way! May our conversations with others always be marked by the fruits of the Spirit—”love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, [and] temperance” (Galatians 5:22–23)...

This is especially important in our interactions with members of other Christian denominations. Surely our Heavenly Father is saddened—and the devil laughs—when we contentiously debate doctrinal differences with our Christian neighbors.

As true disciples, our primary concern must be others’ welfare, not personal vindication. Questions and criticisms give us an opportunity to reach out to others and demonstrate that they matter to our Heavenly Father and to us. Our aim should be to help them understand the truth, not defend our egos or score points in a theological debate. Our heartfelt testimonies are the most powerful answer we can give our accusers...

Many of us have cultivated strong friendships with those who are not members of our Church—schoolmates, colleagues at work, and friends and neighbors throughout the world. We need them, and they need us. As President Thomas S. Monson has taught, “Let us learn respect for others. . . . None of us lives alone—in our city, our nation, or our world.”

What are your thoughts?

What can we do to both engage more with those around us?  And engage in a kind, heartfelt way? 

I especially loved "Our heartfelt testimonies are the most powerful answer we can give our accusers."

Common Ground -- Not always where we'd expect

Even within the church, we are fairly divided over the California marriage amendment known as Proposition 8. It's ironic that an internally divisive issue may be the turf upon which we establish common ground with other Christian faiths.

As discussed in today's Wall Street Journal article (I'm not writing the title because our faith is pro-marriage between a man and a woman, not anti-gay - an important distinction), there may be the opportunity for newfound friendships.

Reverend Jim Garlow, pastor of the evangelical Protestant Skyline Church near San Diego and a leading supporter of Proposition 8, said the following:

I would not, in all candor, have been meeting them or talking with them had it not been for the marriage campaign.  Rev. Garlow said he had developed a 'friendship' with the Mormons he met, although he feels the theological differences remain 'unbridgeable.' But he noted how Roman Catholics and evangelical Protestants have formed tight bonds through their joint work against abortion, and he said a similar process might occur with Mormons.

Is it possible for us want to reach out before we need to or are compelled to?

Boston Globe's Religion Blog -- Articles of Faith

A religion blog wouldn't ordinarily fall under the rubric of Know Your Neighbor, but the Boston Globe's Articles of Faith, written by Pulitzer prize-winning, religion reporter Michael Paulson is in my opinion noteworthy:

1)  Over the weekend, Paulson posted an entry titled Mormons begin new Cambridge Building. In this post, he discusses the ease with which approvals have come for this chapel compared to most.  It is no doubt in part because most of the neighbors are non-residential, but I also wonder to what extent member involvement in the Cambridge community, which to my knowledge has been reasonably significant, has helped?

This begs the question -- if we (stake presidents, bishops specifically) know that a building may be constructed within the next 5-10 years in a specific neighborhood, is there a task force from the stake involved in developing relationships with local town leaders, zoning officials, historical commissions, neighbors, the press -- so that a new building is a celebration for the entire community, not just Mormons?

2)   Having met Mr. Paulson on several occasions, and read many of his pieces, his unusual lack of bias is striking.  I can't ferret out what his personal religious beliefs are.  This is impressive.  Particularly given that the Mormon faith is so often a religion that is subject to tremendous negative bias.  In short, here is a reporter that tries to find common ground amongst religions, for which I am grateful.

We often express disappointment to those that are not fair, but when was the last time that we expressed our appreciation for those that are, whether by sending them an e-mail, commenting on their blogs, or even linking to them? 

On the back porch until September

Dear neighbors in faraway places -- 

It's mid-August, and we're going to spend some time visiting with our nearby neighbors.

Talk to you in September!

Our best,

Dana and Whitney

Dancing to common ground

"Mom, who's your favorite contestant on So You Think You Can Dance?" my 11-year old asked.

"Chelsie."

"You always like the Mormon contestants:  Chelsie, Brooke (White), David (Archuleta), Lacey (Schimmer), Benji (Schwimmer).

Don't you think you're showing too much bias toward the Mormons?"

I wanted to say, tried to say, "No, I'm not."

But I couldn't.

Because he was right.

I am biased.

Which tells me just how much my identity is wrapped up in my Mormon-ness; if a Mormon contestant does well, somehow I do too.

It was also a gentle reminder that stepping outside of my religion to find common ground is not so easy.   Put more specifically, for me, or anyone, whose identity is tied up in our gender, race, religion, ethnicity, if we meet two people -- and we share a religion -- who will we befriend?

We are drawn to people like us.

It's human nature.

But isn't everyone ultimately like us?

Maybe we have to just look a little harder.

In addition to your Mormon-ness, what are your other identities?  How can you find common ground by tapping into these identities?

NY Times "Won't you Be My Neighbor?"

You absolutely must read Peter Lovenheim's article titled Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Here's an excerpt:

Our political leaders speak of crossing party lines to achieve greater unity. Maybe we should all cross the invisible lines between our homes and achieve greater unity in the places we live. Probably we don’t need to sleep over; all it might take is to make a phone call, send a note, or ring a bell. Why not try it today?

P.S.  Shout out to Whitney Clayton for passing this along.

30th anniversary brings us to the Welcome Table

I hope you have been tuned-in to the 30th anniversary of the priesthood being extended to every worthy male member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

In case you have missed it, see the film that was produced for the celebration - click here. Sister Catherine Stokes introduces us to the concept of the Welcome Table.

In the spirit of the Welcome Table, who can you invite into your home who may be different from your background?

How can you and your family, ward quorum or auxiliary expand the Welcome Table?

Related link: My Friend Nekisha

See news stories surrounding the celebration: click here.

I hope you have the opportunity to catch the celebration broadcast on BYU television -- see schedule