knowyourneighbor

Treasure Hunting with Friends

Photo from Flickr.com

I heard a touching testimony in sacrament meeting a couple months ago, and I'd like to share it with you.

Nick Miller is a first-year graduate student in the English department of Washington University in St. Louis, Missouri.  He has felt left out of opportunities to network with his colleagues, because he doesn’t join them when they go out to bars and engage in other activities which would make him uncomfortable.

He also bemoaned the fact that his life has many more demands than many of his single colleagues, since he is married with young children.

In an effort to reach out to his colleagues, he invited one of his colleagues and her husband to his home for dinner. His guests expressed that they sympathize with his dislike of social activities that take them away from their family. They explored ways they would like to network, and this led to an invitation to attend a family home evening in the Miller’s home.

Nick said the experience taught him that, while he does not have the time or freedom his colleagues have, he does have things of value that can build common ground.   

Do you sometimes feel like Nick did? What do you have of value that others might also be looking for and treasure?

Inviting someone to dinner, as Nick did, is a wonderful way to get to know your neighbour.

The Mormon majority

"The Mormon Majority", which recently was published in the Utah State University newspaper, offers some additional color on our most recent Meridian Magazine article Know Your Neighbor and Beautify your Community.

Link: The Mormon majority - Features.

DNA Mormons

Have you read DNA Mormons in the blog By Common Consent?

"Maybe like us you are a proud descendant of Mormon pioneers, confident in your knowledge of your Western European heritage, a typical DNA Mormon-American," writes guest blogger Joanna Benson.

[But], after graduating from BYU, moving to the south, and being repeatedly asked if her husband was Arabic, Mediterranean, or Jewish, Joanna and her husband finally decided to get DNA testing.

Were they in for a surprise.

They expected the DNA test to show her husband was British, Swiss, and maybe a little bit of German; that she was British.

Instead, the results indicated he was of northern Indian descent, she of Slavic and Mediterranean.

"Shock and disbelief, yes," Joanna writes.

But as she began to review world history, she realized "with wars, slavery and revolutions, the world is like a giant mix master," and importantly "this time I could see myself in the mixer."

As Joanna further processed what she'd learned about her family history, trying to make meaning of it, she concluded that "the time has come to reveal the gathering in myself." "[And so] I gladly step out of the small dark box of Euro-centrism, into the big tent of humanity where the real party is going on....Now when I meet someone of another nationality, I can truly think perhaps you are my cousin."

So beautifully said -- thank you Joanna.

Pray with the Nation

National Day of Prayer is Thursday, May 3 and is a great way to meet and pray with your neighbors!

According to Wikipedia: The National Day of Prayer is a day designated by the United States Congress as a day when all Americans regardless of faith are asked to come together and pray in their own way. It is held on the first Thursday in May.

In many cities in the St. Louis area, churches or the mayor’s office hold this event at noon or early in the morning before most people go to work. We have encouraged our Bishoprics and members to attend. In most cases, they have met new friends and found common ground through prayer.

Can you consider going before work or breaking away on your lunch hour to meet new friends?

To find out where an event is being held in your area check the National Day of Prayer web site, look in your newspaper, search the web for key words - your state, city and National Day of Prayer - or call your local Mayor’s office. If clergy in your area have not organized an event, you might work with others to organize one for your area.

Before attending your local National Day of Prayer event, take inspiration from Whitney's recent entry: Catholics and Mormons on Common Ground.

Tell us about praying with your neighbor!

MADDLA Award

Here is an idea from the Thomas family. They are taking nominations from family members for those people who “Make a Difference in our Daily Life.” They call it the MADDLA award. Family members write down names of people or families on a poster hung in the home. The Thomas family sings to the winners and presents them with a plate of cookies.

How about next Family Home Evening you think about someone in your community - with whom you have common ground with other than religion - who has made a difference in your life - a teacher, a coach, neighbor - and write them a letter of gratitude?

Tell us about your MADDLA award experience.

Mourning Virginia Tech

I thought it was just the weather; we'd had four straight days of rain.

But when I read Kat Duffey's poem late that evening, I realized I was also mourning the loss of life in Virginia.

When we suffer trauma or loss, in order to heal, we need to share our story, or bear witness, of that loss.

My profound thanks to Kat for writing and sharing her poem "the moment". For in doing so, she has given voice to our own stories of loss. And as we mourn together, we too shall be comforted.

the moment

for Virginia Tech…for 9-11

what is this part of us
that yearns
to “mourn with those that mourn?”

that aches to touch the
pain
of so many
so far away
whom we do not know?

it stretches forth
from us –
a silken thread of
connection
weaving a cloth of sympathy
to help absorb the tears
of those who were
closer
than
we.

we stand back –
we dry our empathy –
we draw a sigh of relief…
“there but for the grace…” we say –
feeling safe.
feeling spared.

for the moment.

"The World is Our Campus"

I was so thrilled to read the news release, BYU students use management skills to help Roman Catholic priest in Thailand.

First, on a personal note, I lived in Thailand for six years with my family and served on the public affairs council of the Bangkok Thailand Stake. I developed a special love for the Thai people.

Second, this story is an excellent example of skills-based service I shared in my blog, Sheer Joy.

And third – this last point I hope is not lost on anyone - missionaries serving in Thailand were the link between Father Maier and the Marriott Field Studies program. Have you considered that programs at BYU or other Church affiliated institutions might provide the resources you need to find common ground? It’s a matter of knowing the missions of the various programs and being ready to find a match. Explore Brigham Young University's web site and learn more about what they are doing.

Also, review the needs of your neigbor's projects and go exploring. If you or your friends have a project to help families, for instance, you might explore with the BYU Family Life department. If you want to bridge to other faiths, you might call the religion department. Learn what programs and resources they have to reach out that might be a fit for your activities.

Remember: the World is “Their” Campus!

Kudos to these Californians

What a delight to read Bishop John Muir's words, "We're trying hard to reach out."

And those of President Dean Criddle, "Interfaith efforts...are an opportunity to find common ground."

Link: KRT Wire | 03/14/2007 | Mormons try to alter perceptions.

In the linked article, Brian Stein-Webber, director of the Interfaith Council in Contra Costa, says "They've [the Mormons] set themselves apart, and they have been set apart." This is a remark that unfortunately could be made by many people in many cities throughout the world, especially the United States.

So to read of members of the church in the Oakland Stake seeking not to set themselves apart, but to find common ground, and to participate in the community, by working with other faith groups -- whether building schools in Afghanistan or Habitat for Humanity homes locally -- this is very positive and is truly the spirit of Ammon!

What is your ward or stake doing to build bridges locally?

Who can you partner with to do good?

Leaven in the lump

As my kids and I drove to play practice for Savior of the World, I was reviewing the words (cramming really) of "Come, Deliver Us", a song in which the Israelites plead for the Messiah to come and free them from their oppressors. An excerpt from this jaunty march follows:

He will come, His sword aloft and blazing, resplendent and amazing, He will come deliver us.

As the play unfolds, Mary learns, and wonders at the irony of the Messiah coming, not "with his sword aloft and blazing" but "as a stranger, an infant in a humble place".

And that's when the musing began.

I wonder if, as we have the Sunday School discussion about the Israelites, I have been a bit smug, my line of thinking going something like: "Those Israelites -- they just didn't get it, did they? Maybe they should have read the prophecies a little more closely. Certainly, I wouldn't have misjudged the situation had I been there."

And then I realized I AM there.

Different time, different place.

But when I say things like "he's not a Mormon, but..." as if we as Mormons have the corner on the market when it comes to truth and to goodness, I am exactly where the Israelites were.

And I don't like this picture of myself, or of us as a people, much.

So how do I (we) get from the "mightiness and power" mindset to the "humble place?"

For your consideration and mine, below is a quote from Richard Bushman's On the Road with Joseph Smith: An Author's Diary which he kept as Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling came off the press.

February 6, 2006 -- I wrote to Elder Holland about a rough patch ahead as animosity to religion keeps growing. I am coming to envision a new persona for the Church as humble followers of Jesus Christ. Instead of speaking triumphantly of the Gospel sweeping the earth, could we think of ourselves instead as the leaven in the lump, standing for righteousnesss and serving others? I wish we had a long record of kindness and friendship to fall back on, with less stress on proselyting. Then when the storms break around us, we would have friends to turn to. Our covenant with God is to bless the people of the earth. That should be our motto. Establishing Zion does not mean sweeping vast masses of people on to our membership records but creating a people of God dedicated to blessing others. Joseph and his early followers came forth with lots of triumphalist rhetoric, but I think we need a new voice, one of humility, friendship, and service.

Our covenant with God is to bless the people of the earth.

If that truly were our motto, would we think differently? Would we behave differently? Would we act differently?

What are your thoughts?

Sheer Joy

“Now when Ammon saw this his heart was swollen within him with joy; for, said he, I will show forth my power unto these my fellow-servants, or the power which is in me, in restoring these flocks unto the king, that I may win the hearts of these my fellow-servants, that I may lead them to believe my words.” Alma 17:29

A sister complained to me recently that she is tired of park clean-ups and soup kitchen work. She’s not alone.  Her reaction is common and one I hear a lot, especially as I promote serving our communities to our members.  People are not saying these activities are not necessary or not good for our communities. They are not saying we shouldn’t take our turn in the soup kitchen. What they are saying is that they don’t feel productive or alive in their service. They want more on the menu--new and different opportunities to share their skills or learn new skills; to stretch, grow, and make a difference that is long-lasting.

An article in Entrepreneur magazine, Got Skills, recently got my attention because it addresses the same concerns. The tag line to the article says, “Corporate volunteering is becoming less about envelope stuffing and more about letting employees apply their specific skills.”  The article explains that the “new community service” is called skills-based service, and it aims to match employees’ skills to community needs.

What does skills-based volunteering do?  Predictably you might think it is all about image making--good PR.  But executives see skills-based volunteerism as much more.  They use it to retain employees and groom company leaders. Skills-based service energizes the workplace and helps the bottom line.

Skills-base volunteerism has had my interest for a long time. As I have learned to match Latter-day Saints to projects in a skills-based way, I have heard some of the following responses from volunteers: “I have not felt this alive since my husband died four years ago.”  “This is filling a void in my retirement; I feel really useful.”

Skills-based volunteerism applies an “inside-out approach” to finding service opportunities in the community.  Rather than going outside and looking for needs, you look inside first, take stock of the ward or Relief Society or other auxiliaries, assess members’ skills or needs to learn new skills, and then go in search of a match.  You create a win/win benefit for both the community and the Church.

I have found that when you seek to use the skills of members you can hardly hold back their enthusiasm and support. I am currently working on a project that has grown by matching the skills and interests of the volunteers. As an interior designer, I have partnered with Habitat for Humanity to work with the homeowners decorating their home. What started as a one room project has now grown to a whole home. I have enlisted two churches, ours and another. I have Emily, a young woman, designing the girl’s room as part of her Young Women’s in Excellence project. Gina, a recent design-school graduate is adding to her resume and practical experience by helping design the dining and family rooms. Karen, an excellent seamstress, is sewing the curtains. And many others are excited to share and develop their skills.

I am also helping our ward plan an African American Family History Conference, and we have an excited committee helping with this effort as well. One sister, Karen, is applying her organizational skills honed from many years as a business manager for a law firm. She squealed with delight the other night, “I have finally found my niche in the Church!  I feel really useful and I am making a big difference that will leave a legacy.  Just think of all those people who will be inspired to do genealogy!”

When I think of Karen I am reminded of how Ammon felt when he saw a community need that was a perfect match for his skills: “Now when Ammon saw this his heart was swollen within him with joy…” (Alma 17:29)  He knew his specific skill set and his faith could help a community need and make a lasting difference.  His joy could not be contained.

Sharing our specialized skills to meet community needs can bring sheer joy to us as Latter-day Saints and those we serve as well.