knowyourneighbor

No tragedies here

One of the more widely read Mormon blogs By Common Consent recently published an entry titled The Sabbath and the Tragic Commons which asks the question "Is it neighborly in an area of Mormon dominance to decline invitations to shared family events on Sunday?"

My response is three-fold:

1. In a corridor of Mormon dominance, when we choose to participate (or not) due to our religious beliefs, there is the risk of being exclusionary. Ironically, during the early days of the church, a "circle the wagons" mindset allowed our community to survive. But today, the reverse is true. Our survival and growth could depend on finding common ground, becoming inclusionary.

2. Sam MB's entry skirts an important and far-reaching question. Which is -- why is it that there is an "us vs. them" mindset in the first place? Each of our cities and towns include people of all different religious persuasions, including no religion at all. Are we, as Mormons, so different that we can't find any common ground within individuals outside the comfortable cocoon of our faith? Aren't there other people in our community that want to do good and be good just like we do?

3. If the answer is yes, and I believe it is, and we therefore determine to draw a circle of commonality around us (who don't do birthday parties on Sunday) and them (who do), the question of hurt feelings will be largely moot. Because while "us vs. them" must by definition disagree, "we" agree.

So here's what I'd encourage us to do.

The next time we go to a community event, let's have enough real conversations to find someone with whom there is potentially meaningful common ground.

I'm going to a fundraiser for my kids' school on Saturday evening; I'll report back.

Will you?

A Choir Makes a New Friend

Oh, be my friend, and teach me to be thine!
      - Ralph Waldo Emerson

We’ve started a choir in St. Louis, Missouri. We call it “One Voice.” It is organized by Latter-day Saints and friends from surrounding stakes who want to sing gospel or praise music not typically sung in sacrament meeting. Through their performances, the choir also hopes to reach out to members and the community and share their testimony of the restored gospel.

People of all backgrounds sing in the choir including African Americans who have a tradition of playing and singing by ear. Our choir’s leadership didn’t know how to bridge the learning style gap between those who read music and those who don’t. We knew we needed help and prayed that someone might cross our path. Our prayers were immediately answered when Marcus visited our choir this last Sunday. Janet, a sister in the choir, introduced us to Marcus, an accomplished musician and singer who has led several choirs around the world in his military service and is a music director for a church choir in St. Louis.

Marcus taught us how to include those who don’t read music. He also shared his testimony of the Savior and with some emotion encouraged the mission of our choir. The spirit was strong, and we felt lifted by his counsel.

At the end of the evening I noticed Marcus wiping tears from his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I am just overcome by the welcome and spirit here.” I could hardly hold back my own tears as I knew Marcus was an answer to our prayer that we might find someone to teach us.

If we had limited our search only to LDS members, would we have met Marcus?

Do we consider that friends not of our faith can help us do the work of the Church?

I am grateful for Marcus and his willingness to share his talents with us. I love him and it is a joyous and wonderful thing to call him a “friend.”  A friend who shares tears of joy.

Kudos to these Californians

What a delight to read Bishop John Muir's words, "We're trying hard to reach out."

And those of President Dean Criddle, "Interfaith efforts...are an opportunity to find common ground."

Link: KRT Wire | 03/14/2007 | Mormons try to alter perceptions.

In the linked article, Brian Stein-Webber, director of the Interfaith Council in Contra Costa, says "They've [the Mormons] set themselves apart, and they have been set apart." This is a remark that unfortunately could be made by many people in many cities throughout the world, especially the United States.

So to read of members of the church in the Oakland Stake seeking not to set themselves apart, but to find common ground, and to participate in the community, by working with other faith groups -- whether building schools in Afghanistan or Habitat for Humanity homes locally -- this is very positive and is truly the spirit of Ammon!

What is your ward or stake doing to build bridges locally?

Who can you partner with to do good?

Leaven in the lump

As my kids and I drove to play practice for Savior of the World, I was reviewing the words (cramming really) of "Come, Deliver Us", a song in which the Israelites plead for the Messiah to come and free them from their oppressors. An excerpt from this jaunty march follows:

He will come, His sword aloft and blazing, resplendent and amazing, He will come deliver us.

As the play unfolds, Mary learns, and wonders at the irony of the Messiah coming, not "with his sword aloft and blazing" but "as a stranger, an infant in a humble place".

And that's when the musing began.

I wonder if, as we have the Sunday School discussion about the Israelites, I have been a bit smug, my line of thinking going something like: "Those Israelites -- they just didn't get it, did they? Maybe they should have read the prophecies a little more closely. Certainly, I wouldn't have misjudged the situation had I been there."

And then I realized I AM there.

Different time, different place.

But when I say things like "he's not a Mormon, but..." as if we as Mormons have the corner on the market when it comes to truth and to goodness, I am exactly where the Israelites were.

And I don't like this picture of myself, or of us as a people, much.

So how do I (we) get from the "mightiness and power" mindset to the "humble place?"

For your consideration and mine, below is a quote from Richard Bushman's On the Road with Joseph Smith: An Author's Diary which he kept as Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling came off the press.

February 6, 2006 -- I wrote to Elder Holland about a rough patch ahead as animosity to religion keeps growing. I am coming to envision a new persona for the Church as humble followers of Jesus Christ. Instead of speaking triumphantly of the Gospel sweeping the earth, could we think of ourselves instead as the leaven in the lump, standing for righteousnesss and serving others? I wish we had a long record of kindness and friendship to fall back on, with less stress on proselyting. Then when the storms break around us, we would have friends to turn to. Our covenant with God is to bless the people of the earth. That should be our motto. Establishing Zion does not mean sweeping vast masses of people on to our membership records but creating a people of God dedicated to blessing others. Joseph and his early followers came forth with lots of triumphalist rhetoric, but I think we need a new voice, one of humility, friendship, and service.

Our covenant with God is to bless the people of the earth.

If that truly were our motto, would we think differently? Would we behave differently? Would we act differently?

What are your thoughts?

Sheer Joy

“Now when Ammon saw this his heart was swollen within him with joy; for, said he, I will show forth my power unto these my fellow-servants, or the power which is in me, in restoring these flocks unto the king, that I may win the hearts of these my fellow-servants, that I may lead them to believe my words.” Alma 17:29

A sister complained to me recently that she is tired of park clean-ups and soup kitchen work. She’s not alone.  Her reaction is common and one I hear a lot, especially as I promote serving our communities to our members.  People are not saying these activities are not necessary or not good for our communities. They are not saying we shouldn’t take our turn in the soup kitchen. What they are saying is that they don’t feel productive or alive in their service. They want more on the menu--new and different opportunities to share their skills or learn new skills; to stretch, grow, and make a difference that is long-lasting.

An article in Entrepreneur magazine, Got Skills, recently got my attention because it addresses the same concerns. The tag line to the article says, “Corporate volunteering is becoming less about envelope stuffing and more about letting employees apply their specific skills.”  The article explains that the “new community service” is called skills-based service, and it aims to match employees’ skills to community needs.

What does skills-based volunteering do?  Predictably you might think it is all about image making--good PR.  But executives see skills-based volunteerism as much more.  They use it to retain employees and groom company leaders. Skills-based service energizes the workplace and helps the bottom line.

Skills-base volunteerism has had my interest for a long time. As I have learned to match Latter-day Saints to projects in a skills-based way, I have heard some of the following responses from volunteers: “I have not felt this alive since my husband died four years ago.”  “This is filling a void in my retirement; I feel really useful.”

Skills-based volunteerism applies an “inside-out approach” to finding service opportunities in the community.  Rather than going outside and looking for needs, you look inside first, take stock of the ward or Relief Society or other auxiliaries, assess members’ skills or needs to learn new skills, and then go in search of a match.  You create a win/win benefit for both the community and the Church.

I have found that when you seek to use the skills of members you can hardly hold back their enthusiasm and support. I am currently working on a project that has grown by matching the skills and interests of the volunteers. As an interior designer, I have partnered with Habitat for Humanity to work with the homeowners decorating their home. What started as a one room project has now grown to a whole home. I have enlisted two churches, ours and another. I have Emily, a young woman, designing the girl’s room as part of her Young Women’s in Excellence project. Gina, a recent design-school graduate is adding to her resume and practical experience by helping design the dining and family rooms. Karen, an excellent seamstress, is sewing the curtains. And many others are excited to share and develop their skills.

I am also helping our ward plan an African American Family History Conference, and we have an excited committee helping with this effort as well. One sister, Karen, is applying her organizational skills honed from many years as a business manager for a law firm. She squealed with delight the other night, “I have finally found my niche in the Church!  I feel really useful and I am making a big difference that will leave a legacy.  Just think of all those people who will be inspired to do genealogy!”

When I think of Karen I am reminded of how Ammon felt when he saw a community need that was a perfect match for his skills: “Now when Ammon saw this his heart was swollen within him with joy…” (Alma 17:29)  He knew his specific skill set and his faith could help a community need and make a lasting difference.  His joy could not be contained.

Sharing our specialized skills to meet community needs can bring sheer joy to us as Latter-day Saints and those we serve as well.

A Quaker look at community

Timothy Travis, a devout Quaker, shares some interesting thoughts on the definition of community, as defined below; they are quite relevant to Know Your Neighbor.

Link: One Quaker Take: Universal Language -- Community as a Case Study.

1. Community can mean a gathered group--people who are brought (or come) together for the long term and for an increasingly intense and intimate relationship with one another (and with God). They learn together, support and forgive one another, are joined by a shared experience that is shaping them in a common way, through a common process, integrating them to something larger than they are.

2. Community can also mean a group of people who share an interest or concern of some kind, though, and whose relationship does not extend beyond that. The idea is not so much to grow together as to grow along side one another in regard to that shared concern or interest. People are not so much interested in one another as whole beings, or in growing toward one another or like one another as they are in one or a few aspects of one another's lives--the shared interest or concern.

As you think about Know Your Neighbor, and the difficulty of reaching beyond the comfortable cocoon of your primary community (which for most Mormons is our church community), it is helpful to realize that we actually are a part of many communities under the second definition.

We simply make decisions as to how strong our ties are to those communities, whether school, work, or neighborhood communities.

For those who want to strengthen ties to their secondary communities, Know Your Neighbor provides concrete steps (and encouragement) to do this.

Teaching Kids to Be Neighborly

What a great blog entry from Kori Rodley Irons.

She makes two important points: 1) our children learn to be neighborly as they see us be neighborly; 2) we, and our children, will feel connected to the community as we do so.

I would add that if we are only neighborly to people who are exactly like us -- same religion, for instance -- our children are going to feel the world is a pretty scary place. But if we embrace all people that are trying to be good, to make the world a better place -- just like we seek to be and do -- what a welcoming world our children will find.

Link: Teaching Kids to Be Neighborly - Parents - Families.com.

Who is my neighbor and yours -- you ask?

You decide!